Why Time Sucks

I'd liked to have written this blog yesterday, but I didn't have time. In fact, I don't really have time to write this right now. They say that everyone has the same amount of time, but I don't beleive them. I think that some of us have a unique ability to speed through time unabated, completely helpless to get a grip on the fourth dimension long enough to actually accomplish anything, or even feel like we've lived a full day.

You heard me right - they call time the fourth dimension. What the heck is with that? How is time a dimension? I can't write time on a ruler, or picture it in my head. That's a pretty lame dimension if you ask me. Even if it is a dimension, vandalize the thought, I bet it's a lot higher than number four. Number six perhaps...

Unconvinced that time sucks? How about this: I spent the first 18 years of my life trying to be an adult. I spent the next year trying to get bar-legal (not that i wanted to drink, but who likes being told what they can't do?), and then the next two years after that getting bar-legal for Virginia. (Not that I'm actually allowed to drink then either - as per University rules). I'll be spending the next four years trying to get out of university, and then the next two trying to enjoy myself and get financially grounded before Michael Jr. comes into the world and eats all my mushy-food. (Not that I prefer my food mushy...)

'Time' takes very little time to say, but more time to spell. It has only four letters, but uses twenty-four numbers (unless of course you'd prefer to argue that seconds put that number higher). Did that last comment confuse you? Well, I don't have time to explain myself further.

In fact, time is so inconvenient that it's making my Cyst List!

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In case you're keeping track, the list is now: Osama Bin Laden (spit), Hamas (spit again, and then remove all foreign aid), Wal-Mart (spit and then try not to spend too much $), The Modern Media (just keep spitting... get a glass of water if you have to), McDonald's (tasy, yet some saliva neccisary to ingest anyway), the Six O' Clock news (watch out Eleven O' Clock news - you're next!), time (i'll explain later), asymmetry without complete chaos (because that's just sadistic to do that to an anal retentive person such as myself), and the non-word phat, because it's sick. No, I mean 'sick' as in 'stupid'.

The Cyst List

cyst
noun: a closed sac that develops abnormally in some body structure.

The Cyst List is a new irregular feature here at the Truthy Report. Whenever something or someone ticks me off or does something royally foolish, i'll be adding them to my Cyst List.

To start things off:

1. Osama Bin Laden
2. Hamas
3. Wal-Mart
4. The Modern Media
5. McDonald's
6. Six o' Clock News
7. Asymmetry without complete chaos
8. Phat

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Your non-word of the day is decyst (dee-sist), to remove a flaw from the universe.

ASCII

Nothing has terribly outraged me over the past little while, so the Truthy Report has remained quiet.

Since that is the case, I think i'll continue my ascii craze. Below is this sweet flag I found made entirely out of keyboard characters (which is exactly what ascii is).

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Not that i'm American or anything... I just love ascii. I tried for a Canadian flag, but they just don't work on BlogSpot. See here for more cool ascii.

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Today's non-word is gah (gagh), 1. Great frustration at one's situation, 2. An expression of surprise or pain, or 3. A live worm-like Klingon dish made famous on Star Trek: The Next Generation. Mmm... not convinced? Click here.

My Baby

No congratulations necessary. No, I'm not a father - yet. Whahaha.

No, seriously. My baby is my website. No other project has so consumed my adult life. I pour hours and hours into theme changes and content additions, working to beat the last cool thing that I did.

It's fun! Since it's creation late last year, MikeLovdal.com has grown from 1 or 2 users a month to over 300 users per month and growing! The average user spends between 15 and 30 minutes every time they visit, (excluding users that go direct to the forum), and at least 9 websites link back to me.

It's really rewarding to see your own virtual empire being built on the back of all the work you've put into something. Today I just spent an inhuman amount of hours doing a complete retrofit on my site, causing more broken links and graphic chinks than a 10-year-old fansite.
After all that effort, it's nice to know that users will be able to move about my site more freely, discover pages that they may not have otherwise, and just enjoy the site more in general.

This mega update will be published to the web right after Easter (or during if I get jumpy).

If you ever have any comments on my site, good bad or ugly, please email me at cmikeff@hotmail.com

Insensitive? Yes. Lucrative? Yes also.

On this fairest of weeks, the week of Easter, it is a time for families to celebrate and Christians and Jews alike to be thankful for Jesus' sacrifice some two-thousand years ago that even today changes lives. Click here for more information on the significance of Easter.

This also happens to be that lovely time of year that the media decides is a really good time to bring up old debates on the credibility of the Bible, the accuracy of the Christian faith, and the person of Jesus. Is it insensitive? Of course. You wouldn't catch major networks criticizing the Quran during Ramadan, or watch a documentary on the falseness of Muhammad during Rabi'ul awwal.

Why is it that the media feels that attacks on one faith is acceptable during their most holy hours, while for others it is not? Perhaps it is the long-outdated idea that Christians are among the majority in North American, or perhaps it is just that scenes of burning embassy's after a Muslim cartoon was printed in Europe still burn fresh in our eyes. They seem to believe that these shocking stories will boost their ratings and viewership. Where is journalistic integrity?

Whatever the reason, it is offensive. It should not just be offensive to Christians, but to anyone who claims faith in anything. Now don't get me wrong - freedom of speech is an essential part of what makes us truly free in our nation. We just need to show a little sensitivity when it comes to stepping on the toes of those bowing in respect to these holy days.

I won't draw swastikas during Holocaust Remembrance Day, so please don't publish Bible criticisms during Easter.

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The following are the articles that prompted my outrage:
An anti-bible special feature on CBC (url unavailable), and
National Geographic's "The Gospel of Judas"

Note: Judas was one of Jesus' twelve apostles who betrayed Jesus, leading to his arrest and death before his resurrection three days later. Please note that although the above link calls this text a 'Christian' text, it has in fact been rejected by hundreds of years of Christians as heretic nonsense, and is believed to have been written as many as two hundred years after the Gospels that record events of the same time frame.

The Forgotten Music

If you are a resident of North America (odds are that you are), chances are you look back on dance music as a fad of the 80's and 90's, or perhaps more fondly as a symbol of youthful memories.

The rest of the world looks at this style quite differently however. Japan, Europe, and many other parts of the world are still generating top ten songs with a dance beat, and an electronic treat. From the melodic techno to the chaotic hardcore, dance music (often referred to as electronica) is a forgotten art form in North America. How sad for the few of us that play our old Eiffel 65, U96, and Cascada tracks over and over again just wishing the fad would come back.

Dance music seems to be the one style that you can truly loose yourself in, plunging into a lake of sound that surrounds you and comforts you. Even the most lyrically depressing dance songs carried within them the underlying tone of hope and happiness.

How sad for us. The modern radio station chooses urban and rock over trance and ambient, and the next generation of listeners is told that those other styles are just an inferior expression of the past.

Not so. As I write this, the echo of the dance boom rages on with my subwoofer still kickin' the beat. Dance music may have died in North America, but the throbbing booms of music still resound in my house...

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Today's non-word is Exiplocajim (ex-zip-lock-a-jim), the indescribable force behind societal fads and trends.

The Phat, Gay Trend

"You're trying to be gay Batman, but I know you're just faking it."

I kid you not, this is an actual quote from a 40's Batman comic. Back in it's day, i'm sure it was quite socially acceptable that Batman was not in fact homosexual, but that he was acting happy. "Now we don our gay apparel" isn't a line about cross-dressing or anything kinky, it's about being joyous and celebrating.

We try not to laugh at these old references, but modern society has perverted this word. There are many more lesser examples, like how wicked, phat, and sick are supposed to be synonymous with good. In the forties, if someone were wicked, fat and sick, they were obviously a blubbery individual with some sort of criminal record for doing foul things.

Why is it that these words were morphed? Well, my later examples have to do more with creating a language barrier between generations and boredom than any kind of societal advancement, but what about gay? At what time did society deem it inappropriate to refer to such people as homosexual? Why is it that our politically correct world sees it fit to legitimize prostitution by calling prostitutes sex trade workers?

By the same token, be watching for these upcoming terms:

victims = unlucky recipients
thieves = tangible lifters
rapists = erotic intruders

It's not politically correct, but it's life.

Fight the tide, and call a spade a spade, before the media starts calling it a 'pointed personal shovel'...

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Today's non-word is stoopidity (stoop-id-i-tee), the act of lowering oneself and one's personal standards to incorporate immoral or idiotic ideals.

Supers Among Us

Greetings fellow blog-readers,

I actually have nothing too profound to complain about today, so I'll just keep this short and sweet. I do however have some exciting news! I just finished my edit on my upcoming book "Fused #1". Not only that, but I have also decided to add an extra story to the book that is not currently available on my website - Rapido #2.

Work on Rapido #2 is going very well, and I can see being finished by the end of the week! Once completed, it will be added to the "Fused #1" manuscript and then edited once again.

The next step for me will be getting an ISBN number so that I can list my book on sites like Amazon.com. I'll release details on my book's official launch as soon as I have them for you.

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Today I leave you with this:

Superheroes not as super as they used to be - corporations claim us all. lol