"How are you?" asks a passing stranger on the street. A friendly person would answer with something slightly personal, but publicly appropriate. They must say "i'm doing well thank you, it's a beautiful day". Or perhaps they might say "i'm alright..." anticipating that the stranger cares enough to ask why they are only feeling "alright". Such a person would be sadly naive.
If I ask you how you are doing, I care. I care because it's the decent thing to do, and as God graces me with his love I begin to care more. However, I was pre-teen by the time that I discovered that for most people this is not so. Even caring people have a badtendencyy to ask you how you are doing and then keep walking without bothering to find out the answer. A gesture of caring has been stripped down thesignificancee of a "hello", or perhaps the even less ambitious, "hey".
The odd time when somebody actually sticks around for the answer I am refreshingly taken off guard. It doesn't happen very often, but it sure is cool when it does.
So then of course I get to Part Two of my tangent on "caring". Part One was all about people not caring enough to stick around, but this next part is all about a misuse of the word 'care'.
So you've had a lovely conversation with a friend, relative, (both if you are so-blessed), or even a friendly stranger waiting for whatever you are waiting for (bus, train, plane, etc.). You say "it was nice talking to you", and they say "take care".
Excuse me?
Take care? Take care of what? How lame is that.... people used to say bless you!
Take care:
- that you don't trip and die on your way home.
- so that I don't have to see you in the hospital.
- so I don't have to say anything nice to you.
- because no one else will.
- or don't, it's not like I care.
The phrase "take care" is so overused, and so bland and meaningless that you might as well just say nothing at all and grunt your intention to depart.
Gah... "take care" is definitely making my Cyst List!
* * *
Today's non-word is yofalt (yo-fault), when something is clearly your problem or responsibility - so deal with it! ;-)
The updated Cyst List is now available here! All future Cysts will be added there. I may also add a link to the Truthy Report's sidebar if I ever feel more ambitious...
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
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5 comments:
I've heard people go on about the same thing, and I have to say I've been guilty of it myself. I am so used to people just being superficial when asking how I am, that my pat answer is "Fine. How are you?"
Lately, I've asked a couple of people, "Do you really want to know?" thinking they wouldn't want to take the time to hear me...well, vent. Of course, they say yes, and because these people are true lovers of God, it generally turns into a very meaningful conversation.
As for saying "take care," I don't think I have ever said that to anyone, though I've had plenty of people say it to me. I'm like you. If it's not a complete sentence, don't use it, thanks.
It's funny you know... when you are young your natural assumtion is that they are asking a question for you to answer - but no! I remember how hurt I was the first time somebody kept walking before I could answer.
It facinates me how many people don't realise how rude that is. (And it isn't even exclusively their fault anymore, it's become as much a pillar of our society as "hey" and "boy it's cold today".
I find myself falling into those scripts a lot too... especially when i'm doing a lot of calling for some reason.
I worked a call center for all of two weeks, and I picked up the bad habits! :-)
The truth of the matter is that most people (Christians can be the worst) are really not prepared to deal with the answer..."How am I? I feel like crap today! Everything I touch today falls apart! That's how I am!"
That's probably a bit extreme, but unfortunately, the question is hollow and that person often really doesn't want to hear anything other than the typical, "I'm fine."
hey just a Jesus addict,
That is quite true. Even people that care are either too used to the habit of walkin on unanswered, or too troubled themselves to deal with the answer.
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