Thousands Drop Dead As She Smiles

Your national news anchor may have a gaping smile plastered on his or her face, but there's nothing happy about the news these days.

I like to stay informed - in fact, i'm almost horrified when people I know can't intelligently discuss current events. "What party are you voting for," I ask? After a few seconds of expression as thoroughly blank as space itself they respond, "oh, is there an election already?" Puh-leeze.

But even with such a rancor for staying on top of the world, even I am getting fed up with the news. What could make a news junkie so ticked off at his own hobby? The answer of course is the pessimism and "Entertainment Tonight" caliber reporting that makes me as ill as a hamster in a washing machine.

There was a day when new medicines and boy-saving-puppies made the headlines. Every once in a while you even hear about foreign aid workers. The trouble? I forgot to add that they've been kidnapped and are awaiting ransom. I don't mean to suggest that these horrors didn't occur before, but don't you find it sad that your news anchor's charming smile stays so wide as they describe the victims of hurricanes, tsunami, and earthquakes? Does it not make your heart cry out to see civilians executed on the news? Why do they feel we needed to see that? I appreciate their brief warning that "some images may be disturbing to some viewers", but that's just pushing things.

Is the world truly such an evil place that there is nothing better to report on, or have we as a society just been too molded by a shock-and-awe media that a good deed or accomplishment no longer warrants our precious attention? As for me, I'll still be keeping up on current events, but there isn't a network that will hold me nightly anymore.

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To avoid complaining without actually doing something about this, i'm devoting today's feature to positive news. The sky is a bright, clear blue this afternoon. Clouds are scarcely visible on the horizon, and there's a cool breeze to keep you chipper.

In other news, this past March Break was a tremendous opportunity for many children to attend local camps. As I witnessed, there were many wide-eyed and joyful children at our local camp, and they learned many important values, skills, and the importance of caring. These children are now better human beings for having been exposed to this camp, and I pray that many more kids will have the opportunity to experience it.

Cheers, and have an optimistically fruitful day!